Thursday, July 9, 2009

Quick update

So Ray's mom (Daisy) finally responded to my messages/texts!! I told her (and Ray's dad and sister....and Ray) about my decision to keep my baby. I told her that I hope she and Ray (Ray's, that's gonna be confusing....they call his dad "Ray" and him "Ray-rey" or something...) will be a part of Gabriel's life and that I want Gabe to know both sides of his family very well. She texted me back the other day and told me they want to be a part of their grandson's life and they want him to know who they are. I am so happy! Not that I had any doubts, but I'm glad to have it confirmed!

Yesterday I was feeling kind of bummed about Ray....I haven't heard from him in a long time. About a month, actually. I mean, we didn't really talk a lot, but there was the occasional phone call to discuss decisions that needed to be made, etc. He no longer has a phone, but the girl he's living with does, and he and I have talked via her phone and mine before. He doesn't answer or call back anymore though. He doesn't write me back when I email him or send him messages on myspace either. The beautiful thing about MySpace, though, is that you can tell whether someone has read/responded to a message you've written them simply by checking your "sent" box. So I can see that he has read my messages, he just doesn't respond to them. That makes me sad. And I never know if he is okay (the people he spends his days with are not the best, most up-standing citizens of our old neighborhood....) or if he's in jail or lying in a ditch somewhere. It worries me. So now I don't know if he has gotten the news that I've decided to keep our baby. It sucks.

So anyway, I was feeling really sad about all of that yesterday (it comes and goes in strong waves every five to ten days or so--damn these pregnancy hormones!!) so I called my mom. I was telling her that I'm most sad about it because I have seen what kind of man he can be. I've seen him play with my niece (Lily) and how cute he is with babies and little kids. I know he could be a great father!! But it just seems to me like he doesn't even care. It's depressing. So my mom came up to my apartment and took me to go look at baby stuff to cheer me up. It worked like a charm!! It's so fun to go look at baby stuff and get all excited about clothes and bottles and booties and strollers!! I decided to start a registry at Target while we were there. Over the next week or so, my mom and I are going to go to WalMart and Babies R Us and do registries there as well. Fun stuff!!


SamBamby said...[Reply to comment]

Ashley! :D Guess what! Our due dates are a whole DAY apart! Crazy crazy crazy sauce. I am really excited for you. I am having a girl and we are naming her Anya. Maybe Gabe and Anya can have some Derick and Odette moments? Eh? EH?!