Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Post-Birth Story...

So Gabriel is a little over two weeks old now! I can't believe it! He is changing and growing every day!

Anyway, to continue our story...

After a brief few minutes with Gabriel, they took him away to the nursery to do more newborn tests and checks and to bathe him. The doctors began repairing the many layers of incisions...that took about a half hour or more. While they were doing that, they told me what was wrong/why a vaginal delivery would never have happened. There were three factors: 1) Gabriel's size--he was just too big!, 2) The shape of my pelvis--too small? not conducive to vaginal delivery EVER? or just wrong for Gabe?, and 3) his position--he was posterior (facing up instead of down) and his head was kinda cocked to the side. I never would have been able to push him out. A c-section had to happen. Period. So anyway, they sewed me up and then Dr. Foley took the time to glue the last layer to minimize the scar, which was REALLY nice of him. Especially since he had two other surgeries to get to (I made him late)--mine was last minute and it takes a lot more time and effort to glue it rather than just staple or stitch it. When I thanked him for taking the time to glue me, he said (in his Oxford, England accent) "Oh of course! Staples and stitches are for Frankenstein's monsters, not ladies. Especially not pretty ones." *wink*   LOL

After repair, they wheeled me to triage for an hour. That was weird. You know the "patient view" in those tv shows were someone is being wheeled into the ER? That's what it was like. I hated not being able to see anything but ceiling, lights, and the people pushing me.

I finally got to my recovery room and they brought Gabriel to me. I cried--I was more happy than I had ever been in my life. I just stared at him for what seemed like hours. I couldn't believe this little angel was MINE! Could he really have been in my belly just HOURS ago? I never understood my capacity to love until that moment. My heart out grew my chest--and I was holding it in my arms. My little baby boy! How did anything matter before this? Suddenly any pain or heartache or frustration I had felt during my pregnancy or labor was gone. None of it mattered. Only this. Only my child. My son. My little angel, Gabriel. He is my whole heart!

Every time I look at him, I have this overwhelming feeling of love and gratitude. I know things are probably going to be hard. I know that. But as long as I have my baby boy, somehow I know I'll be okay. All we need is each other. I love him more than I've ever loved anything! As we go from day to day, I marvel at his progress and his adorable little habits and sounds. He is such an amazing little miracle! He makes me laugh every day! My life is so much fuller with him in it! I am so happy to have him here with me!!

Gabriel was circumcised the day after he was born--sad!! That was a rough day for him. On top of that, he was having a hard time latching, so he wasn't getting as much nourishment as he needed. His biliruben levels were a little escalated because he wasn't eating enough. If they climbed any higher, it would have turned into jaundice. They told me I needed to supplement with formula. NOOOO!! I didn't want to do that! But I had to because he couldn't latch on so....bummer. In the meantime I tried pumping to make my milk come in. That didn't happen. Grr... When I got home, though, I started pumping and slowly but surely I started getting enough for full feedings! Yay!! I'm so glad I'm able to feed him breast milk--it's so much better than formula (cheaper too!!)

It is a little frustrating trying to care for him and recover from surgery at the same time. I wish my body would just hurry up and HEAL already so I can be Mommy 100%! He's going through his first growth spurt, so he's a little fussy and he wakes up once or twice in the middle of the night to eat. It's hard for me because I can't even sit up! It's quite the maneuver, actually. But I can't get to him as fast as I'd like to. It breaks my heart that I can't do everything I want to for him. Recovering has annoying. I have no patience for it! I've never had to recover from anything except wisdom teeth removal! Never broken a bone or had to have stitches or anything. I'm not cut out for this being indisposed crap.

So yeah...that's life right now! Gabriel and I are both doing really well! He just went to his two week check up on Monday and he's right on track! The only thing is that his umbilical cord hasn't fallen off yet, but Dr. Newcomb says not to worry about it. I went for my two week follow up as well. Dr. Foley says everything looks good. I just can't really do anything until January--I'm not allowed to lift anything heavier than Gabriel and I can't take a submerged bath, go to the beach, or exercise for six weeks. Guess what though?! I'm already down to my pre-baby weight! Crazy!


Jessie said...[Reply to comment]

thats all crazy. I had to have a c-section cause i'm too small to have babies, besides the fact i had a 9lbs baby.